So we just celebrated our second anniversary. I know that I really have no right to say much about marriage yet but I thought I would share a little about what I have learned in that short time. I hope I never stop learning about marriage and how to make it better. Anyway, I have learned that marriage is a lot like a really fancy, expensive car.
There is a car about a minute from my mom's house. It is a really nice car. I only know that because for the past 6-7 years we have only driven by it a few times without Dan mentioning it. Honestly, I don't even know what kind of car it is. Dan or either of my brothers could probably tell you in a second but I never cared much.
This car sits outside in the rain and snow. They have a garage and yet, the really nice car sits out in the driveway year round. Dan has started a sentence so many times with "If I owned a car like that...". Well, I got thinking about that tonight. He has said so many things that he would do differently with that particular car. That is how we should feel about marriage too.
God gave me this amazing husband. Whether you believe it or not I think Dan is the best. He is the perfect guy for me. He is an amazing husband and father and handsome too! He works so hard to provide for us. I want to get up every morning and work on maintaining our marriage. The sad part is that all too often I fail. The important thing is to keep working on it everyday, even when it seems like it couldn't be any better.
I got thinking about how if we had an amazing car I know that Dan would keep up with all the maintenance. The oil would be changed exactly when it should be. It would be shined up, kept in storage, and only driven on the nicest of days. It would be stupid to treat it any other way. He would not let it sit outside and rust until the engine fell out and then decide to work on it.
I think that it is extremely important to work on maintaining our marriage every day. Set aside time for each other, to get to know what you both like. Even if you can slip in 5 minutes of talk time. Just don't forget to ENJOY each other. One thing that I have learned about being married young is that we have both changed so much over the past 4-5 years. We both knew that that would happen. That is why so many people told us we shouldn't get married. People would say "You have no clue what the other person will be like in 5 or 10 years". Thankfully, we both decided that that was okay with us.
We have tried to make it a point to get to know each other everyday. It is important to listen to what the other person likes and dislikes in order to know how to be a good partner for your spouse. I think one of the most important things you can do for a marriage is maintenance... constantly. Don't wake up one day and realize that your engine has fallen out. You no longer know each other and don't know how to fix the damage that has been done.
The other day Dan and I were in an argument. It wasn't a big one and I don't even remember how it started but I realized that I hadn't asked him what made him feel loved in a while. I was surprised at the answer. Just when I think I know everything about him I realize that over the past few weeks his needs have changed and I need to learn how to love him in the way that he needs to be loved.
I asked him straight out what I could do better, so that he would feel that I appreciate how hard he works. I asked what I could do to show him that I love him. He said, "Take the time to smile and give me a kiss when I walk in the door". How extremely..... SIMPLE. I thought about it for a while and realized that when he got home from work earlier that day I said "Hi" and asked how his day was but instead of taking the time out to do what he needed I continued with whatever I was doing. Sometimes the changes that need to be made along the way are so little, so easy.... but if you wait until it is too late... well, that rusty engine is going to just fall right out of that old car.
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