A Letter To My Son On His Fourth Birthday

You turned four today. The sweet baby that made me a mommy has been a part of our lives for four years now. I am so thankful for all of the things you have taught me in that time. I expected that when I became a parent I would teach you a lot of things, but I never anticipated all of the things you would teach me. In those four years you have taught me so much about love, the depth of it, and even how deeply God cares for me as his child. You have taught me about patience, forgiveness, trust, and selflessness. You have taught me about the importance of voicing our feelings instead of bottling them up. But I think the biggest lesson that being your mother has taught me is grace. It has taught me to practice grace more often with others, and in the biggest way possible, grace for myself as a mother.

Just recently I watched you try to comfort your little brother as he screamed at the top of his lungs. You kept repeating, "It's okay little guy... just breath" and for the millionth time I was so taken by all of the things that make you, you. You are so sweet, intelligent, curious, funny, and sensitive... oh so sensitive. It is that same sensitivity, that can make you burst into angry tears one minute, and just ten minutes later, you have your little arms stretched back as far as they will go and tell me, "I love you this much momma".

You need to talk out every feeling, every situation, every annoyance, every joy. You feel everything big. I know that God will use you in a big way. He will use all of the special things that make you, you. I love watching each piece of your personality come together as you grow. Having the chance to be your mother, to get to know and love you, has been one of the best gifts I will ever be given.