Reminiscing

I have had a bunch of time to think by myself tonight. While Dan snuggled Logan to sleep, I stayed downstairs to bake brownies. I love to listen to Chris Rice hymns while I am baking or driving by myself. I don't know what it is, but it brings me right back to my early teen years. My mom loved Chris Rice's music too. So we listened to it a lot when I was younger.

Something is so calming about his voice now. You know how that seems to happen with happy things from childhood? It brought me back to the week after I got my license. I was brimming with excitement and nerves about driving by myself for the very first time. I remember driving for about fifteen minutes and I was already lost. How does that even happen?

Instead of getting worked up or worried I remember turning my Chris Rice CD up a little bit. I remember finally relaxing a little behind the wheel. That was when I learned, that I loved being lost... and still do even today. (Unless of course I need to be somewhere or the car is breaking down.)

As I drove the back roads in my 1990s blue dodge caravan I day dreamed. As I passed a beautiful yellow house, I dreamed about what it would be like to live there one day. It was a sunny yellow with white shutters. The coziness seemed to ooze out of it as I watched the smoke pour out of the chimney. I still drive down that road just to see if anything has changed sometimes.

I wondered if I would marry Dan someday. I dreamed of what our jobs would be, or if we would have a whole bunch of kids. I remember praying that Dan would be the one. That I would be fortunate enough to marry the guy that already knew me so well. That respected me and loved me the way no other man in my entire life had. So many great conversations happened in that van. A few good night kisses, lots of hand holding, but mostly I remember being friends. I remember the hope that that friendship would become so much more.

I am so glad that it did. We have been through many cars since then, but I am thankful for the conversations each one has brought. I am thankful for the hundreds of houses we have day dreamed about living in together. I am thankful for packed picnics. I am thankful for the messy baby food pouches that have been squished in the back seat. I am thankful for my Chris Rice CDs. Most of all, I am thankful for this guy. For his friendship. For his unwavering Love. For his selflessness.

I am thankful to the God who gave me my dream man.